How do you grieve the death of an absent father? I already grieved his absence all my life. Yet here I find myself filled with sadness, anger and emptiness all at once. I felt devasted as when I heard my sister break down and cry as she was giving me the news over the phone. I instantly knew that our grief was different. She and my other siblings in Mexico are grieving the loss of a present father, whereas I’ve already been grieving his absence all my life.
Deep down inside, I always desired for the day to be able to meet him and be able to hug him. Sadly, that day will never come. As many know, I recently went through an ectopic pregnancy on November 16, 2022, so losing my baby and now my father is definitely having a hit on me emotionally. I have been looking at my phone all day, searching for ways to take this pain away, but I found nothing. All the contrary, I felt worse reading poems, quotes, and images. Through it all, I found myself here and came across my blog A Poem About Death that I wrote in 2016. The tears immediately started to run down my cheeks, and I just knew that writing would help me out a bit. Just as I wrote back then, “I know it’s not easy when our loved ones pass away it hurts so much to think we have to live without them, without hearing their voice and hugging them but they are now at rest”, those same words still apply today. It’s not easy, it hurts, and the pain feels so unbearable, but I know it will get easier especially if we hang on to our family and friends and accept the support they will give. Even if you don’t have any support, there is always a motive to continue being strong and moving forward. I myself am here for all my readers if you need a prayer or even some motivational support through my blogs.
I created a GoFundMe to help out my siblings in Mexico to transport my dad’s body from the hospital in El Paso, Texas to Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico. All donations will go directly to my dad’s wife and my siblings in Mexico to help with the body transportation, funeral and burial costs. If you are able to and find it in your heart to donate, I highly appreciate it. Anything helps and will be a blessing to my family.
enedinablog 